My parents were married for 66 years. A few days after my mom died, we were scheduled for her funeral mass and burial. Before the funeral mass, we were supposed to meet other family members at the funeral home, but when my dad woke up, he was not sure where my mom was. We showed up 15 minutes late to the funeral home because I had to re-explain to my dad that my mom was gone. My dad had spent so many years waking up to my mom next to him that her passing was something that he never go used to. [My dad died about 3 months after my mom. It turned out that waking up next to my mom was a matter of life and death.
I have always told my friends in college or high school that my father died in a car accident/heart attack etc. – a different answer for different situations, but in reality, he is still alive and lives somewhere 5 hours away from my home.
This happened when I was about 8–9 months old (1994). I was admitted to a hospital because of jaundice and was there for a week or so. He left my mother in the hospital, saying that he will be back in an hour and never came back.
He sent the divorce papers just three days after this incident and not even bothered to ask anyone whether I am still alive or not.
This happened in the ’90s and especially during the ’90s if your husband leaves you for someone else- apparently it’s all your fault, and my mother knew that no matter how hard she tried, people would always question her character – so we decided to play the game that “he died.”
The main reason: He was asking for dowry again from my grandfather(Mom’s dad), and they were against it. So, he decided to abandon us in the middle of the night when I was in the hospital.
I am sharing this now because I am tired of telling lies about my father.
My mother had the option to marry again, but she did not because of me, and I owe my life to her. Many people in 2017 will not understand why it is a big deal to raise a kid as a single mother but ask anyone from the ’90s, and you will get your answer.